


Personal Apocalypse

by TheLezRevenge



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Abandonment, Abusive Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, F/F, F/M, Finding your way, Healing, Its a thought that popped into my head and i need to write to get it out, Season 3 Fix it, Suicide Attempt, SuperCorp, i have no idea what im doing, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-07-03 09:56:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLezRevenge/pseuds/TheLezRevenge
Summary: Season 3 Style fix it.Kara is struggling to rebuild herself after eveything last season. Trying to open herself back up the people she loves in her life she comes to a startling realisation, She is in love with her best friend Lena Luthor.With Enemies approaching with intent to kill Supergirl, her head is a mess, Struggling to deal with her feelings and friends who have turned foe, can she survive?





	1. The now and Then

**Author's Note:**

> This is My first Fanfiction on here so please I welcome any notes as long as your not trying to tear me apart!  
> I hope you all enjoy!

Kara sat on her couch in her dimly lit apartment, Staring off into space trying to quiet her mind from the tormental thoughts. She is a failure, A dissapointment. Rao how she tried to be enough. How she tried to make her life here work. But it all failed, She gazed at the photos she had placed on the table in front of her. Studying the faces of the people she loved, trying to remember every little detail.

Tears slowly sliding down her face, She turned and grabbed the lead box beside her, opening it she found a small compacted type blade glowing a sickley green. Kara could feel it seeping into her skin, Making her skin prickle and stomach clench. Kara lifted it out feeling it burning her skin, she looked once more at the photos. 

"Im sorry" she whispered, hoping that wherever they all were,They would hear her apology,Her final words. 

Clenching her eyes shut she brought the blade down to her skin and felt it slicing her arm, deep and long. Her face relaxed even through the pain she started to feel at peace. Dropping the knife on the floor she sunk into the couch. Opening her eyes once more she took a last look at the photos. Focusing on the one of her and Lena. 

Kara smiled a barely there smile whilst her eyes slipped shut on there own, Blood spilling onto the couch. She would finally be able to rest. No more pain, No more hurt, No more dissapointment. 

She was at peace.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 MONTHS EARLIER 

Kara was feeling content...ish. It was her christmas party in her aparment, everyone was here to enjoy it. She was starting to get back to herself, with allowing her family and friends to help her. Although she froze when she heard Sam talking to Lena about James, She moved walking over to them.

"Theres no chemistry," Lena stated looking at Sam with amusement. 

"Im inclined to agree with Lena here, Its not Feelings Chemistry at least, its more Respect and work competition," Kara stated taking a drink of her champange, Lena laughed, before she could reply, her phone started ringing. Lifting it up she answered talking to someone,after a quick conversation she hung up.

"Im really sorry guys but i have to go to catco, Apparently there is an issue with the layout or something. James?" she called to him across the room, he walked over and smiled at Lena.  
"Yeah?" He replied to her.  
"We need to go to catco, somethings up with the layout, if we hurry and get this done we can be back here in no time"

Kara's crinkle made a noticeable appearance at this. Recently she had come to the realisation she was indeed in love with her best friend Lena. The thought of Lena being with someone now caused her a lot of angst. She felt quite uneasy about the thought of Lena and James together but she did feel slightly better about the fact Lena has said there was no Chemistry but it didn't completely put her mind at ease. She didnt think it would really be at ease until she had done something about these feelings. Whether it was she told lena or they went away she didnt know.

"Okay but you better hurry, Im still planning on beating you at monopoly later," Kara teased Lena.  
"Oh of course kara, I mean you can try but you seriously dont have a chance" Lena teased back,Grabbing her coat she hugged kara and sam before her and James walked out the door.

Still Kara's crinkled deepened the more time passed, She talked to everyone and tried to enjoy herself. J'onn came over to her after a while of speaking to Alex and his father.

"Kara I know im not able to read your mind but sometimes you just wear your thoughts on your face, What is the matter?" J'onn looked at her with a look that was like a father catching his child doing something they were trying to hide.

"I don't know what you mean J'onn" She pretended not to know what he was talking about but of course that had never worked before.  
"What i mean is whats going on with you and Lena, Well more what your feelings are towards Lena" He gazed into her soul saying the words and she could feel her heart clenching. Knowing truly he did know her and her thoughts. 

"Im in love with her, But i dont know what to do J'onn. She is my Best friend , When everything happened with Mon-el and closing myself off she managed to get me to open up without even really knowing the full story. That is no small thing. I dont want to lose her, I dont want to tell her only to lose the best friend I've ever had and theres the fact she doesnt know about me being supergirl" She rambled trying to come to terms with all her thoughts racing through her mind when it came to Lena.

"Well I cant tell you what to do considering your feelings but I can give you advise, Lena is clearly important to you, You have defended her to everyone at one point or another. She clearly isn't a threat to human kind. I will tell you that if it is that important to you, you may tell her about supergirl, I couldnt really stop you in the first place but i know you hold it back to protect the people you love. Tell her, She may be more forgiving of you hiding it than most. On the feelings towards her I think if she truly makes you happy and you can see a future you should grab that chance with both hands. True happiness is something to be treasured and fought for. Also she is clearly better for you than Mon-el Is or was" He smiled at her,Drawing her to him for a secure hug. 

"Thank you for talking to me about this J'onn. I know im not your daughter but you treat me like one and im proud you are like a father to me and alex. We lucked out with you at our backs" She smiled right back at him, Hugging him with as much vigour as she could without hurting him.

"Like i said, Any man would be proud to call you and alex his daughters" releasing her he stepped back and held her shoulders comfortably. " Take your chance at happiness and remember we are here" 

She smiled brightly at him and walked to the front door slipping out, superspeeding into her suit she climbed out the hall window and was off into the night sky, excitiment filled her heart, she was going to tell Lena, How she was her one, How she couldnt imagine life without her, How she wanted every good, bad and everything in between day with her at her side. If all went well she would tell her about Supergirl also. Landing on the far side of catco she quickly supersped into her normal clothes using the glass to make sure her hair was fine and she looked nice. Heart beating so fast and her stomach filled with butterflys and head fuzzy from excitement she stepped into the main floor of catco going straight for Lena/James office. She was looking down trying to control her breathing and racing heart, when she reached the door she looked up with a dazzling smile only for it to drop and a small pained sound to escape her lips when she saw Lena and James Kissing in the office.  
Upon hearing the small sound escaping her throat Lena and James moved apart and looked at her. She could feel Tears burning her eyes, The need to be sick stirring in her stomach,Her face must have looked like a devastated picture. 

"Kara.." Lena whispered taking a few small steps toward her.

"Sorry i shouldn't have come, I um.." She stuttered trying to find a way to get away from here as soon as possible, She was heartbroken, She couldn't even look at Lena or James choosing instead to look out anywhere but near them luckily her phone started to ring quickly grabbing it she saw alex's name flashing on the screen. " I gotta go" turning around and pratically sprinting through the offices and down the stairwell, ignoring the cry of her name from Lena she heard behind her, She took off into the sky trying to get away from here. 

She was only a couple of meters away from the building when she was grabbed at the back of her cape and slammed into a rooftop. Looking up disorintated she saw reign standing over her smirking. 

" Im sick of waiting dear supergirl, It is time i complete my mission and it starts with killing you," Reign stated proudly before launching herself at Kara.

Kara tried to fight back and it was a fight for the ages. Building, Roads, Cars all destroyed as the 2 kryptonians fought,Quickly it became obvious to Kara that this might be a fight she could not win. She was bleeding from her lip, Nose surely broken, She was struggling to breath so she geussed maybe a few broken ribs also. But she tried to fight back, Tried so hard to win this one. Reign was throwing her about the place like a toy, She was outmatched and outgunned. Finally Reign settled on a high roof top holding her throat, She was completely at this womens mercy, She had no strength left to fight back.

"So with the death of you supergirl, I will reign" Reign quipped before letting her go. 

She could feel her self weightless,yet so heavy falling to the ground, She thought of her sister, Her parents, Her adoptive parents, of winn and james, Sam and ruby and finally of Lena before she slammed into the middle of the road, her sisters scream the last thing she heard before darkness consumed her.


	2. Drowning in your head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Kara's life hanging in the balance, Her family and friends try to find a way to help her, Meanwhile Kara experiences visions of a heartbreaking nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Folks! Thank you to everyone that has read this little fiction and thank you to everyone that has commented, left kudos, everything! My update will probably be about once a week Now this chapter may seem a little OOC but its just the way its popping into my head. Sorry for any mistakes, I do try my hardest to get them out. Anyway on with the chapter and please enjoy!

Watching Kara plummet into the concrete with a deafening thud, she let few tears escape, only subconsciously aware of the agonising scream ripping from her throat and lungs. Seeing her sister laying unmoving on the cracked rubble she stumbled over herself to get to her, Immediatly dropping to her knees beside her grabbing kara's face trying to wake her,  
"Come on Supergirl, Wake up, Look at me, come on," her voice trembling, trying with almost hysterical movements, anything to try and rouse Kara.

More agents shrouded round Kara and Alex, attaching a few wires to supergirl and lifting her onto a stretcher and rushing her to a black van. Before the doors shut Alex looked out onto the sea of people who were watching this all unfold, She spotted Lena standing a few feet away, Face scrunched with worry as she constantly tried to make call after call on her phone, Beside her she could see James, Not really looking at the scene but trying to distract Lena, Talking to her until Lena clearly got annoyed at walked away, James trailing after her after shooting Alex a glance.   
Alex was concentrating on trying to get readings on Kara's stats. Quickly the van screeched along the streets of national city, arriving at the DEO agents ran the stretcher along corridor after corridor until they reached the medical bay. Alex's hands trembled trying to force plastic gloves on, whilst she saw an agent hook up monitors. She stood at her sisters head, "I'm sorry Kara, I'm glad your not awake for this, Cause its all gonna hurt," she whispered, kissing Kara's forehead before she opened her sisters mouth and practically forced a breathing tube down her throat, Next she needed to get a IV line into her sisters arm but every needle was snapping, She couldn't risk using a kryptonite needle with Kara already so depleted. 

Quickly running out of idea's to save her sister she growled loudly, "I don't know what to do!" she roared trying to come up with a solution quickly.

J'onn raced into the room and bypassed Alex grabbing the stretcher Pulling it hard to move it down the corridor Alex quickly grabbed the other end.   
"What are you doing!?" Alex questioned him, "We need to put her in a status pod, We cant fix her like this, Nothing we medically do will help,At least this way we have time" He huffed back halling the stretcher faster. Once they were in the room where the status pod's were they halled her off the stretcher and put her in the pod.

"Your gonna be okay, Your gonna be okay! I will fix this," Alex whispered over and over again, giving another kiss to Kara's head before she closed the pod and let the liquid fill the chamber. As she watched her sister float covered in blood in that tank she let herself break down. Placing her hands on her knees she bent down crying freely, she could feel J'onn wrapping his arms around her supporting her from completely falling to the ground.

"We will fix this, She will be alright, Right now we just have to handle the rest. She will be safe here" J'onn whispered reasuringly to her. Taking a breath she stood straight, wiping her face clear of all evidence of her breakdown.   
"Ok, So we need to call James, See if we can get gaurdian on patrol to help out local cops, I'll get Winn to keep an eye out on CCTV and servers if he can get a lead on Reign. I'll grab some of Kara's stuff from her apartment, I'll call mom too. She should be here, she hopefully can help." She listed off like a checklist of what needed done. 

"Hold on, I will get everything organised here, Just you worry about calling Eliza and grabbing some of Kara's stuff, I'll give Lena Luthor a call as well , She might be able to help with healing Kara," J'onn placated placing his hands on her shoulder, " She will be fine here, I will get everything else done just call me when your on your way back from Kara's apartment" 

"Should we really be doing that? She hasn't told Lena and if she comes here around Kara,She may start to realise, Putting herself and Kara at risk!" She hotly questioned, It really wasn't that she didn't trust Lena, She did after months of slowly getting to know her and realising she really wasn't just another Luthor, She saw a different side to her, the side that Kara rambled on and on about. Alex was one of the last people to trust Lena, Stead fast in her belief that she wouldn't allow her sister to be hurt by another Luthor but after a game night in which Kara had fallen asleep during a movie they were all watching and had a nightmare, Lena won her over after comforting Kara, the nightmare was her aunt dying...More like being killed by her. Lena didn't even know what the nightmare was about but Alex did, She always did when it came to that nightmare, It was the same with krypton dying. She always knew. The empty yet Broken look Kara always got after one of those nightmares haunts Alex And watching Lena comfort Kara after it showed her that Lena really cared for her sister. So that was enough for her , It was really only James that still didn't trust Lena.

"Alex she's smarter than most people combined, She might have insight that could really help. Also this evening at the party Kara and myself talked and I gave her the Go ahead to tell Lena whenever she was ready. Your sister is a good judge of character and clearly Lena means a lot to her. I trust her because Kara trusts her. Don't worry, we will work it out together" 

Alex nodded her head, going to grab her bag from the medical bay. She heard a persistent buzzing from somewhere in the room. Locating Kara's phone, seeing her smashed screen she let out a ragged breath, Kara's phone buzzing again she saw 'LENA LUTHOR' flashing across the phone for another couple of seconds before it ended and went back to the home screen she saw at least 20 missed calls from Lena and just as many texts. Shit, How was she going to explain Kara's sudden disappearance to her best friend/Boss?Especially if the DEO were going to get her to come help with Supergirl.Kara left the party early but she had no idea if she had actually told Lena yet. Deciding right now she couldn't handle trying to find a lie to placate Lena she put Kara's phone back down and walked out the medical bay, reaching for her own phone she scrolled through the contacts landing on her mom's phone number, Clicking to call she put it to her ear waiting to talk to her mom. The constant buzzing of Kara's phone following her out of the door. 

==============================================================================================================

Kara felt cold, That was the first sign that something was wrong. She felt cold, But she didn't feel any pain. At least physically. Looking around herself she tried to see where she was but everything was just pitch black, Where was Alex? She knew she had heard her sisters scream before she blacked out. Was she in the DEO or something? Was she dead?   
No she wasn't dead, She knew that much.

"Hello? Is anyone here?! Hello! Where am I?" she shouted looking around her, Slowly she could feel a few trickles of light coming from in front of her, she walked towards it seeing it getting brighter and brighter. She could see a door, With light streaming through the cracks, She cautiously reached out her hand turning the handle and easing open the door, In front of her she saw her parents standing talking in there living room on krypton. 

"Mom? Dad?" she said, Blinking her eyes not believing they were there. Krypton died, Her parents were gone, Was she under a black mercy again? No it didn't work like this, She would already be emerged in the world not just arriving to it. Maybe she actually was dead. But her parents weren't responding to the words she spoke, She tried walking into the room further and repeating herself louder " Mom? Dad?" 

But again she was ignored, She noticed her parents started to speak to each other, Like she wasn't even here, What in rao was going on?

"I dont think we should be sending Kara, You know She's not up to this job. How woud she ever protect Kal-El? He is the future of Krypton and this house. She will never bring honor to this house" Her father spoke to her mother in a tone she had never heard from him before. Flinching as she heard him speak against her,His daughter. Was she really that much of a disappointment? 

"I know, But we must send her, You didn't want to have anymore children so we must send her. She will just have to do her best, It's not a lot i know but then Kal-El will grow up and carry on the legacy of our house on Earth. He will be Earth's finest warrior,Bringing great honor to our house" Her mother sneered back. 

Both of her parents were disappointed by her, She was second best to Kal. No wait, No her parents loved her, They sent her with Kal because they loved her, They trusted her to look after him..But she has failed.

Her head started to sting, shooting pains could be felt behind her eyes. Raising her hands to her eyes she squeezed them shut trying to make this pain disappear, smashing her fists into her sockets. 

She felt the air around her changing, Becoming heavier almost. Letting her hands fall down to her sides she took in the new scene around her, she recognised Eliza and Jeremiah's house, She could see Eliza and Jeremiah sitting on the porch, with Alex sitting on the grass below enjoying the sun.   
She raced over to them, Eliza looked how she did when she first arrived, Alex was still a teenager and Jeremiah was still here with his family. 

"She's bringing more trouble than she is worth Jeremiah, We need to find a way to get rid of her. Shes causing problems for all of us," Eliza ranted, clearly angry, at Jeremiah who grabbed her hand, "What can we do? Superman is a hero and he asked us to take this burden of his hands. What could we possibly do? Say no? He is very lucky he is a such a good friend. Your right though she is a lot of trouble. I should have just let Henshaw take her when he came to get her"   
"I AGREE WITH GETTING RID OF HER BY THE WAY," Alex shouted back from her place on the grass, "I will personally find a way to drown that weirdo or something. More than happy to find a way to make her disappear!" 

Rao was she that much of a burden? Were these conversation her 'Family' actually had? did they talk about how much of a burden she was on there lives? How she just made everything worse? Was she that much of a disappointment to everyone?

The stinging in her head was getting so much worse, Tears started to run down her face, Everything was changing. She was starting to see how her life really was. 

Before her the picture changed once more, Clearly whatever this was definitely wasn't over yet.

==============================================================================================================

Using her key to unlock the main door of Kara's apartment building she walked up the stairs slowly, She really didn't want to go into Kara's apartment, knowing her sister was unconscious at the DEO, it felt wrong to be here.   
Sighing she rounded the corner of the landing and froze seeing Lena Luthor sitting on the chair at the end of the hallway,looking down at her phone. When she heard someone walking along her head popped up,her eyes landing on Alex. Standing up with her bag and phone in hand she took a few steps towards Alex.

"Alex, Do you know where Kara is I've been trying to call her for over an hour? She ran out of Catco earlier and I'm worried with everything that happened with Supergirl and the damage to the city I wanted to make sure she was alright but I cant get ahold of her" Lena rambled in a worrried daze. 

Alex sighed again popping her key into the lock and walked into Kara's apartment. She placed her hand against her forehead, rubbing trying to get her mind to work of something to say to Lena. 

"Alex please I just need to know shes alright, Have you seen her? Is she mad? I know she was really upset when she left.." Lena continued to ramble when she didn't get an answer from Alex, Though she was quickly cut off now, "What do you mean she was upset? why was she at Catco? What happened?" Alex turned on Lena, studying her face.

"Well...I..She came to Catco, i dont know what for, we didn't get a chance to talk. She came to my office and.." Lena tried to find words to explain what she wasn't even sure happened, Lena walked over to the sofa perching on it, "Well she came to my office and saw myself and James kissing, before I even had a chance to say anything to her she had run off" Hanging her head down trying to contain her emotions. Kara was the most important person in her life, Seeing Kara's heartbroken face flashing through her mind for the last few hours caused her a great deal of pain. She just wanted to talk to Kara now. Try to fix whatever had happened, whatever she had done. 

"Wait James?!," Alex asked confused, "I didn't realise you liked him like that"   
"I dont really, I just wanted to feel less lonely i think, I dont even know why i really did it. But clearly it upset Kara so now i just want to talk to her, Fix it,but i cant when she wont pick up her phone and I'm worried she's dead somewhere with all this chaos" Lena wiped a few stray tears that dropped down her face. Eyes pleading with Alex to help her, To understand.

Alex was starting to get a picture in her head as to why Kara would have been so upset about Lena and James kissing and it wasn't to do with her history with James.  
Sighing once more she ran both hands across her face, God she felt terrible. Kara was in pain even before Reign almost killed her.

"Okay Has J'onn called you?," Alex asked bypassing all of Lena's Questions.  
"Yeah he just called me before you arrived why? what has this to do with Kara? Is she with Supergirl or something?" Lena rushed, Something like jealously flashing across her face before she schooled her features.  
"Okay i need to grab a few things, Then we will head to the DEO," Alex called as she started to grab things and shove them into a bag in Kara's Bedroom,"Do you need to grab anything before we go there?"   
"No im sure the lab there will be fine, If i need anything more I'll get my assistant, Alex will you please just answer my questions, Where is Kara!?" Lena exclaimed, tired of not getting a answer from Alex. Worry almost driving her to the famous Luthor madness. 

"Lena listen i will answer all your questions at the DEO, Just not here" Giving Lena a hard look to clearly drop the subject for the moment.   
"Fine but i need to make this right with Kara Alex. So Some insight and help from her sister would be appreciated" Lena answered in kind.  
Quickly grabbing some photos she shoved it into the bag, Quickly zipping it up they moved out of Kara's apartment,Locking the door behind them, they made there way towards Alex's SUV driving towards the DEO.

=============================================================================================================

 

The picture in front of Kara warped and changed until she was standing in Lena/James Office. Except Kara could see Cat and James talking. Wait Cat? She wasnt here, Shes in Washington, Working for the president. 

"Clark doesnt think she can make it as a reporter and to be honest Cat neither do I. She cant command respect from the others, She cant get stories unless she is handed them, Snappers Going mad because she hasn't even studied or put in the time to become a reporter" James ranted pacing the office.   
"I know shes useless James, I had to put up with her as an assistant for years! But I have put in to much time and effort into this girl to not give her at least a pity job. She will write a few articles she's handed and thats it, She can become a glorified assistant to Snapper for all i care, its the only job she was semi good at" Cat answered almost bored with the subject.

She wasnt just handed the job was she? She worked at Catco for years, Learning under Cat about the business and since she had wrote great articles hadn't she?

She collapsed to her knees as the pain in her head got so much worse.

The Scene changed and shifted until she was standing in the DEO. Watching J'onn And Winn talking beside the centre console. 

"I never should have associated the DEO with Supergirl. Metropolis gets SuperMAN and we get SuperGIRL. What hope can this city have in a 'hero' who doesn't deserve the title? All the problems that the DEO have are from Kara and her Parents. Fort R'ozz Her parents fault, Her Aunt Her fault, Daxamites Her fault. She causes this world so much devastation and disappointment. We saw the true Kara when she was under Red Kryptonite. She is evil, A plague we do not need. We have Superman and that is enough. We dont need some second rate messing everything up" J'onn proclaimed, Clenching fists and Red glowing eyes visible. 

"Well i mean having her around saves us having to do the work, Cops dont have to deal with petty crimes anymore cause she does all that. Shes a glorified hall monitor or something. She does nothing real, She just picks up wafes and strays. Let her think shes important. Maybe then she will just shut up" Winn agreed, Laughing at his statement. 

Was this what she was to the people she loved? Useless? Unworthy? A disappointment? No they couldn't all be lying. But all those things were her fault. She brought destruction to this world and expected to be called a Hero when she cleaned up her own mess. Was she a hero?   
Was she anything anymore?

==============================================================================================================

Alex walked along the corridors of the DEO with Lena by her side, The clomping of her boots mixed in with the clacking on Lena heels, The only sound heard in this part. She came to a door and swiped her card, Entering the room she walked straight to the pod holding Kara and looked upon her sister. In her sleep she still looked in pain, She raised her hand and pressed it against the glass trying to somehow tell her sister she was here, that she wasn't going anywhere. Seeing her like this was tearing her apart inside. But she had to be strong. She needed to work this out, She couldn't live without her sister around. God how she felt angry at herself for all the nights she ditched Kara to be focused entirely on Maggie. How she aches for the times she pushed Kara aside for something more 'important'. When Kara came out of this she would make sure Kara knew she was here. That she wouldn't be alone. Anything Kara wanted she would do. She just had to wake up.

The clacking of Lena's heels ended shortly behind her as she gazed on the tank that held Supergirl. A soft gasp escaping her lips as she looks upon the hero, Looking more broken that she first thought possible. 

"Supergirl? What is she doing in there?," Lena questions, Swallowing harshly trying to get the ball out of her throat.  
"We had to put her in here to keep her alive. We dont know how to fix this, that's why we asked for your help, I dont know how to fix this," Alex replied with a small sob.  
"Of course I will help with this Alex, I already told J'onn I would but I need to talk to Kara first, I wont be able to help properly if my mind is somewhere else Alex,Just a quick conversation with Kara and I will be able to put my all into this" Lena replied slightly frustrated that she still wasn't getting the answers she needed. 

"You need to help with this first Lena," Alex insisted, hoping that Lena would agree  
"Alex Where is Kara?" Lena demanded, Making it known that Kara was her first priority before anything else, Alex turned slowly looking at Lena, taking a breath she stepped towards her and grabbed one of her hands, squeezing gently.  
"Lena you need to help us first, Because you wont be able to have that conversation you want if Kara isn't alive anymore....Kara is Supergirl" She whispered,Looking into Lena eyes and seeing the realisation spread across her. Her best friend was Supergirl and she may not get to fix things with Kara because they didn't know if she would survive. 

============================================================================================================

Kara could feel the weight of her body pressing down on her knees as she looked around. The pain in her head was horrible. She could feel her soul bleeding, Making her wish for an end to this horrible torture. This pain was unlike any other. Losing family, Friends, Your whole world, didn't feel anything like this. This felt a curse, To bear witness to the people she loved, despise her. To share there true thoughts on who she was. 

Finally the scene changed, One last time. 

It was Lena and Jame in there office, They were both facing the desk looking at what appeared to be a layout sheet,James moved his arm to grasp around Lena's waist, She turned towards him raising a hand onto his arm.   
"You know if I didn't know any better Mr Olsen I would say you want me?" Lena teased James with the smile Kara thought was only reserved for her.   
"That woud be because I do Miss Luthor," James smirked back pulling her more towards him, "But I know you want me back, Im good enough for you, I know that Kara Likes you but you dont want her. You want someone who is more than her" 

Lena smiled running her hands over his arms to wrap around his neck.  
"Your right about that,I could never want her, She's not important, She isn't successful, She isn't Beautiful, She isn't enough, Why would i want her? but you are," She laughed before pulling James into a passionate kiss.

Kara was sobbing watching this, laying on the ground, grasping onto her head, Shaking as she watched this scene playing over and over again, She felt something inside of her break. If she survived, She didn't think she would ever be the same. 

Suddenly there was a bright light almost blinding her, she could feel her body being yanked out of this world.

=============================================================================================================

 

As Lena and Alex stood in the room, Alex watching Lena come to terms with everything she had been told, Lena staring at Kara in the tank, Going through every moment with Supergirl and Kara alike. Quickly coming to the thought 'She's worth it', She set herself into motion, walking towards the tank and studying the stat readings, When it began to blare and give warning notes on the screen. 

"We are losing her! she's starting to crash! We need more time!" Alex yelled, Running into the corridor she screamed to the agent in the hall, "Get the medical team in here now! Supergirl is crashing!"

She ran back into the room to Lena who was pacing looking at the tank  
" I don't know what to do Alex, My guess would be a super charge, If we could somehow harness a massive amount of sun energy it would be able to overcharge her"   
"Yes! Lena you got it! okay we need to open the tank and get her to the balcony now! I have sun grenades, We will have to throw like 8 or something at her for this to work," Alex ran over to the tank and pressed the release button, Water splashing over her front and spilling to the floor she ignored it grabbing her sister and moved her out, Having Lena grab her other side they handed her to an agent who swiftly picked up Kara, " We need to get her to the balcony now, Agent Jona radio the director and have him bring all the sun grenades now!" 

They all ran down the corridors to the main hall, The agent carrying Kara laid her body on the balcony and ran back a safe distance down the steps. 10 agents Spread out and each grabbed a sun grenade out the box.

"Just hit above her, Don't hit the balcony or it will collapse, Throw NOW!" J'onn commanded, Each agent throwing there grenade filling the sky with a burning light.

When the light cleared they saw Kara standing on the balcony looking at them all, Eyes full with the empty devastated look. Before they rolled into the back of her eyes and she collapsed. Darkness seizing her once more.


	3. Running on Instinct alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has managed to survive Reign's attack, But she isn't left without damage. 
> 
> With her head a mess Kara takes a serious course of action to protect herself and those close to her. 
> 
> Meanwhile Alex and Lena try to help Kara, but of course, It's never that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for all the lovely support!   
> I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!

Sunlight streamed through the windows of the open room, Hitting the glass beakers on tables making rainbow patches appear along the walls of the medical bay. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor being the only noise in the room. On one of the beds lay Kara, No longer bloodied and bruised, but lying still, Barely there movements of her chest as she breathed. 

Even though Kara was physically healed, On the bed lying so still and vulnerable, she looked diminished. Face covered in a ashen complexion. 

On a lone chair right beside the bed sat Lena. Studying Kara intently, Watching every movement of her chest, everything from the colour of her hair to the gleam of paint on her nails. For the first time Lena felt like she was looking at Kara, Really looking at her. Going over every word ever said between them before today. She was angry yes but she didn't feel Mass murderer angry. Surely Kara knew she would never have turned on her, She was hurt, They had been best friends for a long time now. Didn't she trust after all Lena had done to help, Turning on her own mother Included, She had always been on Supergirl's side. 

 

After Kara had collapsed, Lena's heart and stomach had both dropped. A realisation that losing Kara would be so painful, Especially if they couldn't work everything out. She still had the issue of whatever was wrong when Kara came to see her, Now they had to work out this new revelation. But Kara needed to be around for them to work this out. Sure she may be angry and need space for a time but it didn't mean she wouldn't work it out with her. In the time Lena has known Kara one thing had become oh so clear in her mind, Kara was Lena's true strength. Whenever Lena had a bad day, Kara was there, Supporting her, Telling her to keep going that she was never going anywhere. To not have that anymore, To lose that sun in Lena's life would be devastating. 

Even though Alex had run test after test to make sure that Kara was indeed okay after her collapse and had assured Lena multiple times she would survive, Lena would not calm down fully until Kara actually woke up. It had been 3 days since and the more time passed that Kara stayed sleeping the more Lena realised that she couldn't be at odds with Kara when she woke up. She needed time to get her head together, Try and get Kara to talk to her by her own admission. Forcing Kara to talk about something after she has been traumatised wouldn't be the best thing for her. It would just be one thing at a time to sort out, She could get Kara to talk to her about the night she was attacked, Whatever was troubleing her, they could work through together. Hell maybe she had come to tell her the truth about Supergirl...But then why the pained expression when she saw her and James? Was it James and Kara's history? 

Lena's thoughts were interrupted as she felt a hand being laid on her shoulder with a soft squeeze when she jumped. 

"Hey, Its just me," Alex breathed small smile playing on her lips after seeing Lena jump, " I thought I'd sit with her for a while, Let you get away and back to work or something. Don't worry Lena, She will wake up, her body's just needing to catch up a bit" 

She walked around to Kara's other side, Brushing her hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss the crown of her head, Squeezing her hand. She took a step back and just looked at her sister, Alex although worried knew Kara would wake up when she was ready, She was healed and well. But it didn't stop that nagging in the back of her head, that protective sister voice chanting ' Something is wrong' Over and over again.   
Glancing to the side she watched Lena, who of course was watching Kara. Lena had stayed for many hours by Kara's side. Watching over her and watching anyone who came near, Like a snake poised to strike should the need arise. The more she watched Lena with Kara these past 3 days the more she wondered who they really were to each other, Lena looked at Kara like she was the sun, Bright and powerful, Yet fleeting and painful. It seemed fitting as the more she thought Kara looked at Lena like she was the stars in the sky, Beautiful and bright, Distant and yet so close. 

She cringed internally to how oblivious she had been when it came to Kara's true feelings. She regretted that she hadn't paid more attention to Kara last year, Her happiness had blinded her to Kara's real needs. She had pushed Kara towards Mon-El thinking that was what Kara wanted, But If only she had paid attention she could have encourged Kara to follow her feelings towards Lena. Maybe Kara would have been happier, More content in her life here on earth. She knew Kara had been struggling for a long while now, Unsure of her place, Unsure of her feelings and purpose. She had been in turmoil since Mon-El had left earth, Guilt weighing heavily on Kara. Truly believing the actions of Mon-El and his family had been her fault. 

 

Lena took a deep breath, leaning her forehead into her hand rubbing gently to try and fight the building headache, She knew she needed to get back to work,Jess had been giving regular updates to her via email, James had been blowing up her phone.But she was loathe to leave Kara before she had woken up. But the more she thought of being here when she did finally wake the more she wondered if it would be a good idea. Kara hadn't told her she was Supergirl, Alex had. Kara needed to be able to share something so private about herself in her own time and way. She felt maybe Kara needed time to collect herself before she was exposed around Lena, She didn't think she would be the one Kara wanted to see when she woke up considering something still stood between them, Kara could already be mad or angry with her with whatever happened with James. But she just wanted to be here for Kara. 

Glancing at her watch she saw that it was just past 10 in the morning, She could at the very least go get the major things out the way and if Kara was still not awake come tomorrow morning she would come back. Reaching to the side of her chair she gathered her Jacket and bag, slowly putting it on, Trying to absorb as much of Kara as possible. 

"Im going to head to L-Corp theres some stuff i need to sort out, Then i need to see what's going on at Catco. If she wakes up can you please call me and let me know?" Lena whispered to Alex. 

Alex walked around the bed to stand beside Lena, Reaching a hand out and squeezing her arm, "Of course i will, She will be fine Lena. I'll watch over her for a while. You go get your stuff sorted but please go home and get some rest, Food. I will call when she wakes up, There no sense in you waiting around here, You need to look after yourself" 

 

"I...I will, Alex I need to ask something of you, but i think it would be for the best, " Lena turned serious looking Alex dead in the eye to try and convey her need, " When Kara wakes up..i..I dont want her to know that i know"

 

Alex screwed up her forehead in confusion looking at lena, "What do you mean?"

 

Lena closed her eyes and breathed,"I dont want Kara to know you told me about her, She needs to tell me something like this on her own. She needs to be able to trust me with this on her own terms" 

"Lena your asking me to lie to my sister, I cant do that. She got permission to tell you anyway, If she found out i told you and lied about it she would be so angry. With you and me!,"Alex rambled, completely against either of them lying to Kara. 

"I'm not asking you to really lie, I'm asking you not to tell her! I dont see her being thrilled with anyone but her telling me the truth! She needs to do this on her own," Lena explained seriously. 

Alex thought seriously, Kara could end up being angry that someone, let alone her had told Lena the truth. Especially if what she suspected was going on between the 2. Kara might not have wanted to tell her secret, even more so after catching lena with James. She may have changed her mind or may not be ready. It would be one less thing on her mind when she woke up. Having to worry about Lena's reaction to the news could really stress her out. Alex wasn't even sure what Lena felt about the news. She had been oddly silient the past 3 days mostly sitting in silience beside Kara, Occasionally making a phone call about work. Great now Alex was worried about Lena's reaction.

Sighing in defeat Alex glared slightly at Lena, "Fine i wont tell her, But this means you cant act weird or different around her Lena. Nothing has changed. She is still just Kara Danvers to you until she tells you the truth" 

Lena slightly nodded her head and took one last look at Kara, Walking out of the door she was confident she was making the right choice. 

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A half hour or so had passed since Lena had left and Alex had sat in the chair watching kara since. She knew soon she would have to leave and finish some of her own work but she was trying to put it off as long as possible, hoping Kara woke up before she had to go. However still Kara layed, unmoving and clearly unwaking. Eliza was currently in the lab running tests on Kara's blood trying to find a reason for Karas apparent Coma. Alex thinks its more to do with trying to be useful. Alex had quickly figured out that there was no medical reason for Kara's coma, It was just her body giving her rest after a traumatic event. She had tried to tell Eliza that but She was determind. She supposed she should actually get her mom some food, try and get her to rest for a while, With that thought she stood giving Karas head another kiss, Softly brushing her hair.  
"I'll be back soon, moms running herself ragged," Chuckling softly, she watched Kara," You know what she is like when she is worried. You know im slightly pissed at you for leaving me to deal with her right now. But i'll let it go this once" 

She smiled down Kara before walking to the door, She looked back, Eyes lingering for a moment more before leaving the room entirely. 

Minutes passed before the monitor spiked with a high heart rate before a loud gasp was uttered and Karas eyes snapped open.

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Lena had arrived at L-corp and was just exiting the elavator, she walked to Jess's desk and grabbed the pile of post its that Jess kept for all urgent matters. Reading through them she saw they weren't so difficult to handle so she may be out of here fairly quickly, Then it was just over to Catco to deal with a few issues before she could go home and get a shower. 

"Miss Luthor," Jess smiled greeting her boss warmly, "There is just a few forms that need your signature, Also a few of the R&D projects need read through to see if you want to move onto there next stages" 

"Jess how many times please just call me Lena when its us. What R&D's need read?" Lena smiled back, Jess was a great assistant. She was smart and she knew what she was doing. She helped Lena immensely with her work load. She had the ability to be a great scientist. That is what was surprising as Jess, When they had first met, Jess had applied to be her Assistant but she had taken a great interest in the science, she had admitted to Lena once that she did want to be a scientist, but she never had the funds to get the qualifications to actually be one. 

"Oh a thousand times or more so far, just some small projects I had a read through them, 2 of them are doing well and have made a lot of progress, theres 3 that are duds in my opinion," Jess summarised. Thats also how she helped Lena, She useto never give an opinion on the projects that would come up but the more time she worked for Lena and learned the company she began to notice projects that were working. Lena needed to promote Jess soon. She was being slightly wasted behind this desk, She did have an eye for good projects.

"I will sign of on those then. Send the others a memo to shut down and reassign to other projects that move on to next stages. Is Sam in the office?" Lena signed the few forms put before her.

"Yes she's in there" Jess smiled  
"Well im just gonna pop my head in then i'll be heading over to Catco" Lena answered walking towards to the office door, Opening it she stepped inside and saw Sam working away on some forms at the desk.

"Hey! I was just in to fill out some stuff but i thought i'd pop in and say hi. Ask how its all going?" 

Sams head popped up, smiling at Lena, She hadn't seen Lena since the party but she had texted a few times. 

"Hey, I'm good, Its been a bit busy the past few days with the Fisher account but otherwise fine. How have things been with you?," Sam asked Lena, Watching as her face dropped slightly,"is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah everythings fine," Lena tried to smile, coming up a little wobbly," I've just been having a few issues but im fine honestly"

Sam looked at Lena and could see that something was bothering her, She tried to think of what could have troubled Lena recently. Nothing big was happening with L-corp or Catco. As far as she knew nothing was happening with her family, She was trying to remember what was said at the party...WAIT! James. She had left with James, hadn't been seen for days and now she looked a little upset. Maybe something happened?

"Is this to do with James?," Sam questioned, Very clearly displaying that she didn't believe nothing was wrong," Did something happen?"

Lena realised that she couldn't get out of this, Clearly Sam wasnt going to just let this go. Shes too nice to do that with her friends. She could in theory say that what was bothering her was to do with James rather than the truth. It wouldn't even really be a lie because something did happen with James. God. she hadn't even thought what she was going to do with that mess. 

"Well yes, Actually something did happen," Lena walked over to the couch sitting down, whilst Sam had a concerned look walking over to join Lena," We may have..Kissed"

"Wow! I knew you too had chemistry, So what are you dating now or something?" Sam smiled warmly at Lena encouraging her to continue.

"I dont even know, We were kissing and then..." Lena hestiated, Does she mention about Kara walking in? was it private matter between them or would it help to have someones look on the situation? but then again she may be judged for the fact she did kiss James who was Karas ex. Going after her best friends ex, What a brilliant idea!," All that stuff with Supergirl kicked off and we never got a chance to talk about it. Now i dont even know what to say to him"

Fear having won out over telling the truth in this situation. She had no idea what to do with this entire thing, On the one hand she is lonely, Honestly she just wants someone to want her, But on the other she doesn't want to hurt Kara. She could only think that if Kara was upset it was because she still held feeings for James. She would back off if that was the case, She may even back off if its not. 

"Well i mean if you like him you should definitely go for it, He would be lucky to be dating you," Sam reassured thinking that Lena was just nervous about the situation," He is handsome and as far as i am aware a nice guy" 

"I'm not sure i should date him, He is Kara's Ex after all" Lena reasoned, She really didn't think dating him would be a good idea. 

"Yeah from a long time ago, As far as i can see they are just friends now. I doubt Kara would hold it against you. You should find your happiness where you want it, Your allowed to find someone" 

Its true yes she did deserve to find happiness and love, But did she see that happening with James? Then again thats all dating is. Trying to see if it works out. God she was so tired she needed to get some sleep. 

"Maybe, I will see what happens. Right im going to get going, how about we have brunch in a few days okay?," Lena smiled, Standing hugging Sam goodbye before leaving to head to Catco next.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kara's eyes were blurred for a few seconds, Frantically searching the room around her. She was in the medical bay once more, She could recognise it. Thank Rao she wasn't in darkness anymore. 

She had no idea what had happened, She could vividly remember her visions, remember each and every second of it all. Looking around she could also see no one was with her...No one was by her side. They didn't care to be here. She really was nothing to them. No she couldn't think that, If they weren't here there was a reason. They must be so busy with Reign. The city. 

Flashes of the fight crossed her mind and she flinched. how was she even alive? She could vagualy remember waking after her visions, on the DEO balconey. 

She her hearing to locate Alex, Remembering her scream after the fight,finding her she listened and heard Alex with Eliza in the lab...Laughing.She listened to the city, Hearing only a few sirens, nothing overly dangerous going on.. Nothing was going on. They just weren't here. 

Rao, Did she really not matter? 

She sat up, Taking off the wires attached to her, Gathering her bearings and stood up on unsteady feet. She felt drained, clearly she had her powers. How long had she been here? What had happened when she was asleep? 

She needed to get out of here, Feeling confined in this room, near these people. Taking slow and steady steps she walked out of the med bay, Walking unsteadly to the stairs towards the balconey. 

"Supergirl! your awake, Wait ill get Agent Danvers and let her know! She will need to do some tests, you were out for a few days. Supergirl?," The agent questioned seeing that Supergirl wasn't stopping her walk

"Dont bother. I'm leaving, Ill return later," She stated simply over her shoulder arriving at the balcony before she lifted off into the sky. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Final stop of the day before she could finally get home and relax, God she hoped this didn't take to long. Her muscles were sore, she could feel her body screaming at her for some rest and food. One thing at a time though. Striding out of the elevator in Catco she greeted various people passing her as she made her way towards the large office looking through the glass she could see James and Eve talking beside the desk, walking into the office fully she smiled at Eve who happily chirped her usual 'Hello Miss Luthor' Making James snap his head up to look at her. He gave her a smirk, Eyes lingering up and down her body. 

"Ah Lena. How are you?," He smirked at her, Trying to be charming in his approach," We have missed you these past few days"

"I'm fine James. I was tied up with something, i've just come to see what urgent stuff needed done," She answered evenly, He was currently eyeing her up and down and admittably it made her slightly uncomfortable. Lena was very much hoping to avoid any awkward conversations at this time. James straightened himself slightly, seeing that she was uncomfortable but thinking it was for an entirely different reason. 

"Ah yes, There is a problem with some of the photo work, Follow me to the development room," He answered guiding her through the bullpen into a small dark room, he turned on her, with what he believed to be a charming smile he stepped towards her,"I must say that I was quite disappointed you dissapeared these past few days. But you can make it up for me" 

He stepped closer towards her pulling her in by her waist, head moving down for a kiss, Lena turned her head quickly and pushed on his chest with her hands.

"James dont. Im really here to sort out the work stuff. This is not a good idea, I shouldn't have let you kiss me the other day. You are Kara's Ex and i am your boss," She reasoned trying once again to take a step back, still held in place by his arms. James frowned, looking slightly pissed off.

"Kara and me have been over for a long time, We were barely even together, Did she say something to you? You know we make sense Lena, Clearly there is something here," He scoffed, Lena may be a Luthor but he could admit she was gorgeous,powerful and wealthy.Internally fuming he raged about Kara meddling, recently with him being the CEO of Catco and working as Gaurdian he had began to think that Kara wasn't all she was cracked up to be, He had started to see under her surface when she found out about Gaurdian. Her hypocrisy for being a hero, When all she wanted was fame. He was just as much a hero as her and He wasn't about to let some ancient history with Kara ruin this," I cant believe Kara is getting involved! its none of her buissness if we like each other"

Lena whirled from his assumption that Kara had put Lena off James, Unwilling to deal with his seeming anger she placated him,"No, She hasn't said anything to me! I just don't think is the best idea!"

Lena was confused, She knew James was close with Superman and just so happened to be close to Kara, surely he knew Kara was Supergirl and Currently in a coma. Why would he think Kara had been putting her off him? Lena remembered then that J'onn had been posing as Supergirl for flying around the city a few times, So maybe James didn't know after all? but if he did maybe he just didn't care to know her status. 

 

James squeezed her waist slightly, Lowering his head again he took her to him, he spoke evenly in a rather chilling voice "We would work Lena. One date. We will have one date and you will see im right for you," He bent down placing a solid kiss on her temple and turned to leave, smirking over his shoulder he walked away, Leaving Lena standing there wondering what the fuck just happened?

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kara flew straight up in to the sky going as high as she could, gliding above the clouds she tried to collect her thoughts. At this stage how did she begin to start though? The visions playing on loops inside her mind, her logical mind trying to scream that none of it was real. That she was loved, Wanted, but the rest of her repeated that she was nothing, Unloved, A burden. Her whole life on this planet she felt out of place. She worked for years to fit in, Be normal, See the good side of a devastating situation but how could she anymore? Everything was a lie. She had thought she had found a family here, But the visions were correct in the fact that she was at fault for everything that happened to Jeremiah, Alex's own life being overturned for her, almost dying for her countless times, Fort R'ozz was here because of her and her pod, The Daxamites, Everything. She thought she could have a good life, Filled with love and laughter. She sobbed feeling the pain throbbing through her as she thought of Lena. Lena who she loved and ached for. Flashes of her and James made her sob harder, Tears rolling down her face harder as she brought her hands to her face.   
She could never tell Lena the truth now, Not about Supergirl and not about loving her. Clearly she wanted James and that was her choice. She couldn't even bare to look at her now. She couldn't handle seeing Lena after what happened, She also thought of Alex, Of all the wrongs in her life. How they all seemed to link back to Kara, How could she continue to be a burden on the people she loved? If her visions had shown her one thing it was that being close to anyone made things worse. She couldn't be attached anymore. She had to diconnect from everyone aroud her, to keep them safe, rao even herself safe she had to shut off emotionally and physically with them. They didn't deserve this burden any longer.   
Her ear piece crackled before J'onn's voice sounded in her ear,"Supergirl, Where are you? return to the DEO for tests, You just woke up," He ordered,Wiping her face she cleared her throat and replied, "Yes sir, Ill be there in a moment."

Wiping her face clean, she readied herself for what is going to be a hard task. She flew through the sky back to the DEO landing on the balcony, she eyed Alex and J'onn standing waiting on her. Alex looked at her and quickly jogged towards her throwing her arms around her sister,"Where have you been? I was so worried! You dont just run off when you wake up Kara!," Alex lectured when Kara suddenly tensed clearing her throat and stepping away.

"I needed some air. You said you wanted some tests? that is not needed, i feel fine apart from needing a shower and some food. i would like to go home," she stated cooly looking only at J'onn. She could feel Alex's confused and hurt eyes on her,"Im no longer hurt so tests would be pointless."

J'onn looked between Kara and Alex confused about Kara's demure right now, He wasn't aware of any strife between the sisters at present. 

"Well we need to discuss everything Supergirl, Do you remember everything about Reign? How we Stablised you?" J'onn questioned

"I remember everything with Reign, I am vague on what happened after," Kara stated, Waking up the first time was fuzzy to her, She didn't really care, She just wanted to get away and find some solitude," I am assuming sun lamps or something"

"Kind of, We brought in Miss Luthor to help revive you and we used sun grenades to overcharge your system,"Alex answered for J'onn, Trying to catch Kara's eyes, Why was her sister acting like this? Cold and shut off," We..um told her you were away on a family matter for work" 

J'onn shared a cofused look with Alex, Wondering why she was lying about Lena knowing. Alex locked eyes with him and shook her head ever so slightly, communicating siliently to leave it alone. 

"Okay nice to know. It wont matter about Catco, Im quitting, There is no point in me being there anymore. Reign is to big a threat for me to have a day job," Kara lamented, She was going to email James immediatly after this, She no longer wanted to be around anyone she loved. Also less likely chance of seeing Lena.

"What Kara you cant just quit your job? You could get a break from work if you ask Lena im sure she would until this Reign threat is done at least?," Alex rambled, shocked at this drastic action from Kara, She had no idea why Kara would quit her job, She had been so much brighter with Lena around her everyday, Glowing with love for catco and her Journlism,"You love working there Kara"

"I am not asking for your permission, Nor am i asking for anything from Miss Luthor. Im done discussing this subject," Kara Firmly stated, with hard and set eyes, She could feel her hands clenching at her sides, trying to controlling her rising panic, she couldn't keep this going for long,"Now if that is all i will be on my way"

"Kara I know your not asking, Kara, Shes your best friend why wouldn't you ask her? Kara what going on?," Alex whispered, Hurting from the way Kara was acting,tears stinging the back of her eyes,"Kara please talk to me, whats going on?"

 

"Nothing is going on Alex for Rao Sake! I dont have to justify everything to you! I am not your problem! Remember im either in this family or im not and i am not! do you understand?! I am done being this snivelling little girl acting like i am normal when i am not normal okay! i dont want this anymore, accept my choice! We are as of now Supergirl and Agent Danvers to each other and i am nothing to Lena as well! i am just Supergirl, I was right Kara Danvers is a mistake! I am Kara Zor-el. I do not want to see any of you near me, Unless the DEO needs my assistance. i am unavaible to all of you!," Kara ranted finally exploding with emotions, glaring at both J'onn and Alex as she took a deep breath trying to come back to herself slightly, "Goodnight Agent Danvers,Director Henshaw.Call me if Supergirl is needed. Otherwise leave me alone"

With that she turned and flew off into the sky, Leaving a shocked J'onn and distraught Alex crying in her wake. 

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Lena sat comfortably on her couch, wrapped in a blanket, book in hand with wine in the other. Feeling a lot more relaxed but still mentally tense from the past few days,she tried to read her book, Going over the same sentence probably 50 times now. Her mind just kept bringing her mind straight back to Kara, She was exteremly worried that still Kara had yet to wake up, At least she thinks so, Alex had promised to text the moment she did but yet no text came. 

Putting her book and wine down, she sat up steadily breathing deeply trying to calm on coming panic about Kara. Her phoned chimed once and then again she quicky grabbed it seeing a text from James and sam. 

Reading Sam's, she saw it was plans for brunch in a few days. Opening James she gasped as she read that Kara had emailed him quittting effective immediatly,Why hadn't Kara talked to her? Why hadn't Alex Texted saying she was awake? Was she actually awake or had she...Oh god she couldn't be dead! Clicking to go on to her contacts another text came through from Alex, Quickly Reading it tears started streaming down her face as saw,

'Shes Awake, But something is wrong! Shes quitting Catco and she doesn't want to see anybody again, Including you.'


	4. The Darkness in Dawn and Dusk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's desperate measures to protect herself is at the forefront of everyone's mind, They try to determine what has caused such a reaction. 
> 
>  
> 
> Meanwhile Kara continues to try and stablise her mind in order to defeat Reign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! I know I said once a week but I had some free time so decided to write a few hours away!  
> Thank you for all the encouragement and love!   
> Please enjoy!

After receiving the message from Alex, Lena had sobbed for hours on her couch. She clutched at her chest with desperation for peace and the ability to breathe easily again.   
Lena wasn't entirely convinced why she felt such devastation to the news that Kara, Her best friend, Her sweet sunny Kara, didn't want to see her. She didn't even have the full story from Alex yet but those words alone tore through her. Frenzied thinking as to any reason, any little clue as to why Kara didn't want to be near her. Hours of tears and devastation lead to little to no sleep for her, A few stolen minutes after exhaustion took hold was the most she would get that night.

The next morning at around 5:30am she gave up on the foolish notion of sleep, dragging herself off the couch and pratically drowning herself in coffee, in a way she wished it was scotch but there would be time for that later. Lena battled with herself on whether to call alex now or wait to a more social hour, At 9 her battle came to a grinding halt with the decision she had waited long enough, promptly picking up her phone she gazed up to the ceiling trying to steady her thumping heart as she could feel the uncertainty and panic rising as to what could possibly have happened. Bracing herself she made the call that was sure to kick up a terrible day to a truly awful one.

The ringing of the phone played over and over in her ear until a crackling whisper of "Hello?" filled the air.

"I need to know what happened, I need to talk to her, I need..." Lena's throat restricted, voice hitching as she tried to come up with a way to explain that she needed answers and action to happen all at once to hopefully settle this uneasiness that had settled over her, "I dont understand Alex, If shes awake, If she really is alright...Why doesn't she want to see anyone?"

It wasn't that often that Lena could be thrown in surprise, Although some of her mothers schemes were pieces of a puzzle that took time to fit, she was usually able to see a full picture. She considered that it could be due to her extensive background in chess and the fine art of Luthor family mindgames bullshit. But this had blindsided her so completely that she was scrambling with how to handle it all. Her first reaction was to lure Kara to her somehow, Lock them in a room together and beg Kara to talk to her, To make her understand, to be there and comfort her until she felt safe again. That was one thing that resonated from Kara, Safety. Lena always felt safe when Kara was near, Even though she believed that Kara was a mear human like herself, It was like Kara was invincible. 

She listened intently as she heard Alex trying to gather words to explain what she didn't even know, How could you explain to someone that Kara wasn't Kara?

"I dont know what to say Lena...I..I really dont. She flipped out last night and left, I've not long just left her apartment, She wasn't there and it looked like she hadn't been there for a while. Her tracker has been disabled or destroyed i dont know," Alex sighed once more, Like Lena she had little to no sleep the night before, Working her mind into overdrive to try and understand,going down every route in her mind repeatedly, all the while trying to banish Kara's harsh words from her head, trying to convince herself that what Kara said wasn't her, that she had been possesed, altered in some way like red kryptonite,"Could you come into the DEO, help me figure this out, we can talk properly there"

 

"Yes! Yes...I will get ready and be there in around a half hour.." Lena jumped at the chance to help, god knows Kara had saved her more times than she could count, Maybe now it was her turn to help save Kara,"What are we going to do Alex?"

 

She heard Alex taking slow and steady breaths before a strained voice admitted,"I dont know Lena, I really dont know"

 

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After Kara had left the DEO she had needed to get as far away as possible, She flew to the fortress incased in ice, believing it fitting considering she felt cold from the inside out. She had wandered to the middle of the large cave and finally dropped her mask, falling to her knees she bowed her head and felt tears leaking from her eyes. Being so cold, so angry with the people she loved was no easy task. It went against who she was on a fundemental level, She had grown to believe there was always some hope in the darkest of times. But with her visions she had come to learn that the years of her life had lead to one conclusion, Her life was a lie, carefully woven but easily tarnished from all the misfortunes of her years. One disaster after another slowly chipped away at her heart and mind. 

The visions flashed through her mind in a gruelling repeat, she thought once she was awake they would no longer be there,like nightmares and dreams stowed away in a locked box in the back of her mind to be ignored in favour of denial. However that was not to be the case, She was destined to relive each and every second torturing her till the brink of insanity. She couldn't think of how hurt Alex, even J'onn had been at her angry words, or the fact that she couldn't bring herself to register what was once a soothing sound of Lenas heartbeat. She sat back and crossed her legs in front of her, placing her hands on her knees she started to recite a ancient kryptonian chant to quieten the mind. The more minutes passed without peace in her thoughts the more forceful her words became. Desperation for respite from the turmoil raging inside of her. 

The visions had neither ceased nor had her headache from the moment she had woken. 

It was like the more that she tried to push the visions out of her mind the worse the headache got. 

She stayed locked in place, Caught between torture and peace with little hope of a reprieve.

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Lena sat stoically on the stiff chair at the large conference table in the DEO, worry and shock swirling through her as she watched the CCTV of Kara tearing Alex and J'onn apart. She couldn't understand how this was Kara, She could feel her whole body coil and flinch when she heard Kara's cold voice utter 'Miss Luthor'. She tried to work out what could have happened to make Kara so angry and distressed that she decided she wouldn't ask Lena for anything. Why she would suddenly quit catco, a job she loved and thrived in? 

To Lena this wasn't Kara not really. She understood a little about loss and disappointment and fear in life, but this was something else, something so much more that was causing Kara to change. She watched the CCTV again and again even though it caused her more pain each time, studying Kara's every word, every breath, every move. She could notice just from Kara's body language that she was in a struggle to restrain herself and yet struggling to go through with her words at all. She was both in control and not. 

Across from her sat J'onn, head bowed with his hands clenched in his lap, each time he heard Karas voice spewing angry towards Alex and himself his jaw clenched and his hands shook, whilst behind him Alex unable to sit still paced the length of the room, frown deeply edged on her face. 

 

"I cant believe Kara would act like this, Even her body language is wrong Alex, Your right something is wrong," Lena lamented, Hope and determination worming its way into her heart the more she watched Kara. She could believe that yes this may be Kara but something was manipulating her, Changing her,"Have you thought it might be red kryptonite or some type of substance like that?"

 

Alex groaned bringing her hands to join behind her neck, tilting her head back to try and alleviate the strain on her neck,"Yes I thought of that but this isn't red K behaviour, it could be another substance i suppose but i would need to do various tests to see if anything physically has changed. We were able to detect the Red K after her brainwaves were more muted. Her impulse control all but vanished and this isn't impulse control"

 

"Have you tried to contact her? I know her tracker is of no use but what about her phone or comms?," Lena nodded already trying to think of different tests to run to determine any difference in Kara. She tried to focus on the science because it was stopping thoughts of being in the same room with Kara but not being able to connect to her friend. She had been the one to determine it was better if Kara wasn't aware she had been made privvy to her true heritage.Now it was most definitly coming to bite her in the ass,"She clearly has a way to be called"

 

"Her phone is still broken from her fight with Reign, Its still in the medical bay, We haven't tried to contact her on Comms yet because we need a plan first. We cant just go barrelling into this, if we did it would make it worse," J'onn explained, truly believing careful steps must be taken in order to help Kara at this time," We can ask her to volunteer to these tests or i can order her to do them, either way they must be done to determine what happened" 

 

"Ok so if Alex, Eliza and myself get down to the lab and start prepping for some tests, We contact her in say an hour?,"Lena confidentaly stated, standing and smoothing down the invisble creases in her trousers. She was determind to do whatever she could to help Kara, Because not having Kara around would be a hollow existance. She had grown used to Lunch dates with easy banter, Movie nights with gentle affection, Dinners that turned into sleepovers because neither wanted to leave, Hugs for any and all reasons, Smiles with laughter filling usual cold and derelict rooms. Going back to a cold and joyless life now would be so much harder to accept now that she knew what the other side was like,"Is there anyone else that can help?"

 

"Everyone has pretty much been set to there own task. Now we just need to fix this" Alex grimly confirmed, Sharing a look all three of them left the room to hopefully, find a breakthrough.

 

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Hours of chanting didn't work, so Kara decided to try something new, She walked over to the console touching the middle crystal to make her Uncle Jor-el appear. He was exactly as she remembered, it never ceased to amaze her to see anyone from her world, although not flesh and blood, was good enough to remind her of where she came from. The people who made her. 

 

"Hello My dear Niece" The hologram stated instantly recognising Kara's DNA.

"Hello Uncle. I have been having some disturbing visions since i was attacked by Reign. But these are not normal visions they are living breathing demons of the mind," She rambled praying to Rao that this was a question he could answer, give some form of explanation to these disturbing days," The worldkillers are coming for me and earth, i need to clear my mind of these visions in order to prevail"

"You seek a way to clear your mind? Have you tried the kryptonian chant?"

"Yes and it has had no success. If anything to try to clear my mind leaves me more in pain" Kara gritted out trying to keep her composure for as long as possible.

"Then this is no ordinary problem Kara. Your mind is not as protected as you believe, you must lie on the table and cast your mind back to the start of your visions" The hologram explained cryptically.

"I am not stepping back into that nightmare! I have barely survived living that once!" Kara snapped, fear creeping into the sides of her mind, How could she even think of going back into that hell hole? She was meant to be finding a way to get rid of them not relive them. 

"You will not relive anything, this is needed in order for your visions to be understood. The wordkiller is no easy opponent, should you choose not to do this, you are likely to fail"

Being told she coud fail set off a trigger in Karas mind that made her scream in anguish, flashs of being a disappointment to her family new and old tormented her as angry tears raced down her face, Losing to her rage she let out an animalistic scream before her heat vision exploded from her eyes making a large dent in the thick wall of ice.

"Is that what all of you expected from me!? To fail!? To be a dishonor to our house!?," She screamed with a rage she didn't think she possessed, she craves to dig her hands into her hair and pull until her skull splits in 2, to tear her very heart from her chest to feel no more.

"I am not programmed to give a response to this inquire" the hologram drawled back. Kara paced back and forth before the console, of course she wouldn't get an answer to a question she needed her family to answer. The reassurance she needed from family long gone.

Looking at the ice table behind the console she chewed on her lip, she could find some peace or at the very least a way to find some answers to the purpose of these visions.   
Clenching her hands she took slow and heavy steps towards it, taking deep breaths and shaking out her arms to loosen the tension she steadily climbed onto the table laying down she put her head between the 2 crystals at the top, taking one more deep breath she squeezed her eyes shut and called out "Begin"


	5. Do you believe in fairytales?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's loved ones scramble to try and find a way to help Kara but will there efforts prove futile? 
> 
> Kara is trying to purge her mind of these visions and finds that the road to peace is not so easily walked. 
> 
> The question is can she be saved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I will keep this very brief! I am so sorry to everyone who has been waiting for an update, A couple of months ago my house was robbed, along with it all my devices. So I have been saving to buy myself a new computer, I now have one!  
> This is a shorted chapter than usual but I thought I'd give a filler type with some conflict.  
> Thank you as always for the comments and kudos!  
> Now on with the loooong awaited chapter.

The lab was filled with a somber tension, Lena stood with her back rigid stabbing at her tablet. Her brow was tense causing a pulsing headache to start building, She was battling with her mind to stay focused on the task at hand and not letting her mind wander into more darker thoughts, But every so often it would come screaming into her head..  
What if she couldn't help Kara? What if Kara really just didn't want to know her anymore? Was she safe?  
That was by far the most painful thought, not knowing if Kara was Safe was almost maddening. Images of Kara Danvers, Not Supergirl, skin warped green screaming in pain flashed across her eyes causing her breath to hitch with a shudder. She cursed under her breath dropping the tablet with a resounding thud, she collapsed into the stool beside her leaning forward onto the table her face hidden behind her hands before fingers crawled through her hair settling there and tugging at it slightly.  
It was only when a hand was placed gently on her shoulder did she jump realising she wasn't alone anymore, she tilted her head to see Alex giving her a small smile, she thinned her lips sharply nodding back.  
Alex turned so her back was pressed against the metal table and crossed her arms trying to get Lena to look at her.

"We will Fix this, I may not have trusted you in the beginning Lena but right here, right now I trust you, I trust you care about Kara. Truthfully I think you care just as much as I do," She softly uttered trying to reassure Lena. Only it didn't seem to have much effect apart from a slight twitch of a smile appearing on her face, "But most of all Kara trusts you and very clearly cares about you so apart from the obvious what is bothering you?"

Lena stared ahead unwilling to look at Alex because although Alex tried to make her hopeful, her insecurities and doubts were a lot more prominent.

"what if I cant do this? what if I cant fix this?," Lena turned her head to look Alex right in the eye before she breathed, "What if there is nothing to fix?"

Alex opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by a sure and steady voice, "Then you don't know Kara"

Lena's head snapped around to see Eliza Danvers standing tall with a determined gaze holding a black carry bag.

Alex's head snapped up also to spot her mother, "Mom Hey this is Lena Luthor, She's here to help" Alex motioned towards Lena who stood up straightening her skirt and walked towards the 2 other women. 

Lena reached out her hand towards Eliza, " It is a pleasure to meet you Doctor Danvers"

Eliza Slowly lifted her hand and shook Lena's " A pleasure also to meet the women Kara and Alex have told me so much about. Now Alex informed me that you are aware of Kara's Origins. I have been reassured by Alex that you are to be trusted with this information but humour me for a moment. Are you a threat to my daughter? 

Eliza held Lena's Eyes as if she could see the answer before it was even spoken. Lena could see a cloud in her eyes, fogging them up with a strong aura protectiveness. She had no doubt that whist her own mother was cold and calculating, Eliza was fierce and dangerous in her own right. Clearing her throat she held Eliza's eyes firm.

"Kara never has to fear anything like that from me. She is my best friend and I will do whatever I can to help her, Now and whenever she needs. She's special and not just because of her powers but who she is as a person. No one around me could me as more than another member of the insane Luthor family except Kara who just saw me as Lena. So I am no threat to Kara. I just want to help her like she has helped me so many times before" 

Eliza took a few moments to consider this answer before she broke out into a large smile. " Good, Now have you managed to work out any tests we can do to determine what has happened to Kara? You didn't give me a lot to go on when you called Alex. Just that she was up from her coma but wasn't herself"

Alex and Lena both looked at each other knowing that Eliza would have to watch the footage to understand the difference in Kara. Alex was just thankful that no words against Eliza were said by Kara, for now. If they were to get Kara here and run unwanted tests on her she felt that Eliza may also experience harsh words from her adoptive daughter. 

"Come sit mom, I need to show you something then we can talk more about it" Alex led her mother towards a seat, taking a deep breath she reached for the tablet containing the footage. Another time she would have to hear her sisters harsh words.

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Kara sprang up with a large scream echoing around the solitude walls. Rolling herself off the table she collapsed to her knees trying to fill her lungs with air. 

"My Niece you must return, you must complete this journey or your mind will be vunerable to Reigns attacks. This is the only way to help you." Her uncles words shook around her head as she tried to resettle herself. 

"I cant do this, This isn't helping, its making it worse!" Kara screamed, pulling her legs towards her chest and tucking her head in she tried to centre herself on where she was. Who she was. "You said I wouldn't relive my visions but I very clearly am and more!"

"Kara you must do this, the connection between you and Reign is not easily severed. if you complete this process you will no longer be plagued by this. This is the only way I can help you my niece" Her uncles hologram explained. 

She couldn't remember all of what happened while she was under but she could remember enough that she had had to replay her previous visions with some new images appearing. She felt broken and more than anything, Alone. 

She couldn't be near anyone she could feel her control of her powers fluxing with every minute. The ground crunched under her hands as she put them on the floor trying to ground herself to the feel of the ice and snow under her.   
She needed to find another way to fix this that didn't ruin her more than it already has. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eliza worked with a vigour unlike any other after watching the footage, Brain storming any and all ideas with Lena. They bounced ideas off each other quickly and were working on the various tests to conduct on Kara when they called her to the DEO. Alex watched in awe as they worked in an weird unison around each other, Like they had been partners for years on this project, With a small smile she stood up and walked towards her mother grasping her elbow.

"I'm going to run out and get us some food," Alex looked at both Eliza and Lena making it clear it wasn't a choice. Lena opened her mouth to reply, "I will get you something healthy if you like Lena"

"That actually wasn't what I was going to say but that would be appreciated. I was going to suggest you get some food for Kara when she gets here. We don't know how long it has been since she has eaten so it may be helpful" Looking down with a small blush covering her cheeks for her concern regarding Kara even now. 

"You are probably right, I will be back soon," Throwing Lena and her mother a smile she grabbed her keys and wallet. Walking through the many hallways of the DEO she decided to just go to deli around the block. Exiting the building she started walking down the street to head to the deli only to bump into someone accidently.

"Watch where you are going!" A harsh voice exclaimed, Looking up she saw James standing there fixing his suit jacket. Her eyes narrowed as he finally looked up noticing who he was speaking to, his face morphed into a slimy smile. "Ah Alex. I'm just heading in to get Winn to upgrade my suit, Considering that Supergirl hasn't been patrolling in a while seems it falls to me to be the hero this city needs"

He exclaimed it with almost a smug air around him, his entitlement now leaking out of his tone more than usual.

"Well If you had bothered to ask there is a reason that Supergirl hasn't been around. Also I think Winn is a little busy to be upgrading your suit" She snipped at him, How on earth did she not notice his attitude recently, She had noticed he has become more obnoxious but she had put it down to his CEO position at Catco but that didn't seem to be his only source now. 

"I'm sure he will make time for me. Alex I'm far too busy between Catco and Guardian to worry about why Kara is having a little melt down," He scoffed clearly finding this a waste of his time," also When you see her let her know that what happens between myself and Lena is none of her business. I'm not having her risk my chance to be with Lena Luthor."

Alex could feel her anger building quickly the more he spoke, How dare he claim to be a friend of Kara and not know what was going on with her! This wasn't a little 'Melt down'. How could he not realise that if Supergirl hadn't been seen and Kara had quit her job that something serious was going on. The most he was worried about here was himself trying to get into Lena's bed, Which if she could help it wasn't happening. Barely containing her anger she clenched her jaw and stood ramrod straight. If he wanted to act like this type of person she would stop some of his arrogance in its tracks.

"Since you are so busy we shouldn't over load you, Mr Olsen as of now you are no longer affiliated with the DEO. A team will collect your suit and your access is now revoked." She spoke in a cold and unforgiving tone. James Face morphed into one of anger and outrage.

"You cant do that! You are not the director! Also that suit is mine! How dare you when i'm the one holding this city together now that Kara has decided to take a little vacation or whatever she is doing? I wont stand for this Alex" He growled, squaring his shoulder he stepped into her personal space trying to intimidate her. 

"I can do that Mr Olsen, You are not part of the DEO to begin with, You are involved under my direction which you no longer have, Also the suit has been made with DEO equipment and resources, it is DEO property which will be returned by a team of agents immediately. The police and other services are protecting this city at the moment as they have done before you and will do so after you Mr Olsen. That is the last on the matter," She drawled as she turned and continued to walk down the street. She hoped he was livid, Little Prick deserved it.


End file.
